Archive for September, 2008
My favourite people in the world September 18th, 2008
I’ve given this a remarkable amount of thought and I’m now in a position to clarify that my two favourite people in the world are He PingPing (the samllest man in the world) and Bao Xishun (the used to be tallest man in the world). Apparently Bao has been usurped by some Ukranian bloke but I’m not fickle.
At the end of the day if you had a dolphin in a tricky situation then you’re not going to ring up some random Ukranian are you? No, of course not.
I still wonder how they came to the conclusion that the only way to solve a dolphin’s life was to find a bloke with really long arms. Surely you’d just try a coat hanger with the end bent round first. I would but I’m very far from being a vet.
Anyway, imgaine how happy I was to see Pingping in the news this week having his photo taken with Svetlana Pankratova. She, apparently, has the longest legs in the world. For a woman at least. A remarkable achievement, I’m sure you’ll agree.
I have no idea why they were having their picture taken together. I couldn’t be arsed to read the story. I’m just content to know it happened.
Posted in Media | Comments (0)
Aces High September 16th, 2008
Every now and then you see a story that just could have been taken straight out of Viz. Yesterday was just such a day, or Sunday, dependant on whether you want to be really pedantic.
Of course I don’t mean the fantastic story of the woman who bought a bunny thats ears weren’t floppy enough. That was a great story and I’ve thought at length about what I would do in her situation. The only conclusion I’ve come to so far is that it was a clear case of criminal deceit and calling the police is the only rational course of action. Otherwise people will think they can palm off erect rabbits with absolutely no come back.
Clearly that wouldn’t have got into Viz as there is no substantial double entendre in the whole story. Having said that the one I’m thinking of hasn’t really got any sexual content either so my entire theory is in danger of being rubbish.
The most outstanding story of the last couple of days has to be the humanitarianism of Iron Maiden lead singer Bruce Dickinson single handedly mounting a Berlin style airlift to rescue stranded holiday makers.
It is a fantastic example of how when events go truly tits up we can only really rely on celebrities to make everything better.
I love the idea that Bruce works a few days a week as an airline pilot just because he can. I have no idea how much money the bloke has got but as The Maiden have been pretty well constant for well over 20 years he must have a few quid in the bank.
In their seminal single Aces High, Iron Maiden demonstrated a truly in-depth knowledge or air to air combat. I imagine that this has come in really handy in the last couple of days as he skirted Israeli air space with a boot full of tourists from Egypt.
I doubt it happens but I’d love to believe that every time he takes off, Aces High blasts over the PA.
Tags: Iron Maiden
Posted in Media, Music | Comments (0)